The Winter Soldier
by Dustfingers-Angel
Summary: Amanda joins Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff on a one off mission and ends up being dragged into the situation with the Winter Soldier and HYDRA. During the interrogation of a HYDRA agent, Amanda finds out that she's a main target of HYDRA. The story picks up after they discover that Fury is alive. Part of my Amanda West series. Disclaimer: i don't own marvel
1. Chapter 1

The panic attacks started after New York. They scared me, left me shaking and miserable and alone. Never in my life had I felt so weak. The only consolation I had was that during an attack I couldn't use any magic – so I couldn't accidentally hurt anyone… again. I would wake up in the middle of the night, or break down at the mention of a word, or when I was alone and all the memories came flooding back, it would happen. I had never felt so weak until New York.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I stood with Tasha, Steve and Sam around Fury's bedside. He was alive – and that was the best news I'd heard since we'd got Phil back. We discussed our plan of action and shared the limited knowledge we had of 'The Winter Soldier'.

"Well," Fury said, "You are three of my best – after New York I have complete faith that you can finish this. Just stick _together_ – do you hear me, West?"

… _my best_… _New York_… There was an uncomfortable twist inside my chest of guilt and shame, the affects of bad memories crushing me slightly; I nodded, "Yes Sir"

"Good, I'm not having Barton or _any_ of your team on my tail for letting you dive _head first_ into _another_ suicide mission"

I looked at the floor. It had _not_ been a suicide mission... but I knew why they thought that it was. The way I'd told Steve that I '_needed to get to Loki_', then had fallen out of the sky minutes later a bloody mess. No-one else understood Fury's emphasis on my other team members, but I knew he was talking about Phil and how angry he would be if Fury let me get myself hurt... again. I knew Fury was trying to make light of my injuries from New York like I normally would, but I hadn't gotten to that place yet. Coming out of the coma and getting back into field work had taken far longer than I'd wanted; it was a slow, exhausting process that had left me fully aware of my own mortality. It was hateful.

I took a second to swallow and briefly close my eyes; breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth slowly, trying to keep my heart rate down… my eyes opened again. I looked up at Tasha with a deep sigh. She discreetly signed to me the question, 'are you okay?'

I nodded subtly and signed back, 'I will be'.

'Okay.' Tasha steered the conversation far away for me and New York while I quietly took deep breaths. I was almost perfectly calm again when Fury said;

"Well, West, you are the most experienced agent on this team – they'll be relying on you, you're in charge here – no screw ups, alright?"

I stiffened and tried to smile; I nodded my head robotically and twisted my ring on my finger. _They'll be relying on you_…I didn't want to be relied on. I clenched my fists again and again until my nails started to cut into my palms. _You're in charge here_…I couldn't deal with being in charge. I felt my breathing become harsh and my body started to rock with each breath. _No screw ups_…I couldn't cope with the responsibility that was being heaped onto me. As my breaths became shorter the trembling began. It all happened in a total of nineteen seconds. I gulped, pulling my long sleeves down over my cut palms "I need a second" I gasped harshly as I turned and rushed out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

I gulped, "I need a second" I gasped harshly as I turned and rushed out of the room.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I ran, turned a corner, another, then another before half collapsing down to the floor, my back against the wall. I couldn't breath. I brought my knees to my chest and brought my forehead to my knees. My breathing was frantic now. My lungs hurt. Tears sprung from the corners of my eyes. I gripped my hair with both hands and let out a harsh sob.

Soon there were firm hands on my shoulders. I knew they were there but I couldn't move. I wished they'd just let me get on with this bloody thing. "Go away" I whined between breaths, "please, please… please…"

More people came around me. The hands on my shoulders were comforting but as people grouped round me I could feel claustrophobia rising inside me. There were too many. I felt crushed.

"What the _Hell_ do you think you're doing?!" My chest hurt. The voice was Natasha; she was angry. I couldn't breath. "Get back!"

People moved away. The hands on my shoulders stayed. With one hand I let go of my hair and grasped onto the nearest hand, the warm comfort of that hand soothed me slightly, not enough to help but enough to give me hope.

"Steve," Tasha's voice was softer, "you need to give her space." So it was Steve's hands. It was him. "Steve," Tasha stressed again, "she _needs_ space."

He stayed for a moment longer before taking his hand off my shoulder, "Amanda?" Steve sat beside me, close enough for me to feel his presence, still holding my hand in his "Come on, you can do this"

I gulped but I couldn't breathe any slower.

"Amanda, I need you to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth – you can do it." Steve's voice was calm but he spoke with an authority I needed to sort myself out. It took me a while, but I began to do it; in, out, in, out; nose, mouth, nose, mouth. In, two, three, four; out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…

My eyes were still shut but I put my head back against the wall and let my legs slide out in front of me. Deep breaths – take _deep_ breaths. Steve rubbed his thumb back and forth over the back of my hand; I focused on that feeling, I focused on that warmth, that comfort. I shuddered as I breathed in, gulped, then quickly sighed, again, and again, and again.

"T-Tasha" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"I-I want… I, uh, n-n-need…" I tried to get out an understandable sentence but the words caught in my throat. Each time I started to say it again, I got more frustrated and my breathing started to speed up again. I shook my head and took a deep breath, then clumsily signed the word for 'phone'.

"What?" Steve asked, he sounded concerned "What is it?" I felt so bad, so embarrassed and guilty for causing all this fuss.

"Just stay with her!" I heard Tasha walking away.

Within a minute or so, once I felt back in control, I blinked open my eyes. Everything was bleary but after a few seconds I could see the wall opposite clearly. I hung my head and slipped my hand from Steve's. I stared at my palms; small cuts lined the heel of my hands where my nails had bit too hard into my skin, dried blood was smeared across my skin and my finger tips too.

"Amanda?" I pulled my sleeves over my hands again. Steve put his hand on my leg as he leant forward, trying to look at my face to see if I was alright.

"Sorry" I muttered, staring at the floor.

"You don't need to apologise"

"I should have better control of this by now"

"You can't be in control all the time"

"But I _should_ be!" I looked at him then, staring into his eyes for some sense of understanding – some recognition of how much I _needed_ to be in command of my own body. There was only pity in his eyes. I looked away, my heart still racing. Natasha appeared by my side again. I gazed up at her, "Phone?"

"Here" she handed me my mobile. I unlocked it and went into my old emails, scrolling through until I found the one I was looking for;

_Just remember I'm always here when you need me. You are capable of getting through everything that life throws at you, you're the most resilient person I've ever met. Stay strong, you can do it – I believe in you x_

I read the words over and over until I was smiling. I locked my phone and held it to my chest. I took a deep breath and exhaled with a smile.

"Wow" Steve said kindly, "the power of an old message"

"Yeah" I was still smiling.

"Who's it from?"

I beamed down at the phone, "Someone important." Steve and Natasha exchanged a look.

"Meaning none of your business" I snapped jokingly.

Tasha knelt beside me, smiling openly. I looked up at her and she carefully wiped the tears off of my cheeks. "Better?"

I brushed her hand away with a smirk, nodded and push the hair back from my face again, "Better."

Tasha sat beside me, parallel to Steve. "Amanda," she said softly, "you know you can't do this"

I nodded once, gently biting my lip as I grasped my phone more firmly.

"And that's perfectly alright," Steve added, "You can't be expected to be able to do everything." I nodded, but the guilt was still there. "You need to get to safety though, you can't stay here"

"I know"

"Do you have somewhere to go to?" Steve asked compassionately, "I know you've lived within S.H.I.E.L.D. since you were young, is there somewhere independent you can go?"

I looked at my phone. _Just remember I'm always here when you need me_. "Yeah, I think I can. I need to make a few phone calls, but I should be able to get out of America without going through S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Okay" Steve smiled, "Good"

"Will you be alone?" Tasha asked with mild concern.

"No" I shook my head.

"Do you trust them?"

"Fully" I answered without hesitation, "I trust them with my life"

Steve frowned, "But you can't tell us who it is?"

"Compartmentalisation – if you don't know where I'm going, you're not going to be able to tell anyone."

Steve rolled his eyes, "I'm beginning not to like that word."


	3. Chapter 3

"Compartmentalisation – if you don't know where I'm going, you're not going to be able to tell anyone."

Steve rolled his eyes, "I'm beginning not to like that word."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My first thought was to phone Phil – I knew I couldn't really tell him anything, but as long as I knew he was safe I could get on with what I needed to do. I dialled his number, pressed call, and waited; the phone rang out again and again until it went onto voicemail, I sighed.

"Phil? It's Amanda" I gulped quietly, holding my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I began playing with my ring "Okay, you're clearly busy, so eh… wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you better be safe. Um, don't phone this number again, I'm getting rid of the sim card today, so uh... I don't know how much you know right now but stay away from any of the bases – especially the Triskillion. I don't know who to trust just now. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been compromised by HYDRA. I've been with Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers but I'm heading out of the country. HYDRA has a hit list and I'm in the top ten so I'm getting out – not really my choice but I'm not holding up well and… and I know it. Phil… Phil, please be careful… please… I don't know how this is going to go down… I don't know who's going to get out of this… I don't know, I– I really don't know any more Phil… I need to go. I've got to make some arrangements as soon as possible so… Phil. Phil… just… for me, please… just… don't die." I hung up. My voice had begun to break at the last few words.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself again before making the next call. I knew he'd let me stay with him, but if I phoned him right now I'd break down at the sound of his voice alone.

So I phoned Pepper Potts next. She answered the phone immediately when I rang, as was her habit. With a matter of short exchanges, we arranged for her to send me a personal jet over, no questions asked and Tony wouldn't know. She was concerned and I understood why. I'd suggested getting Tony out of the country as a precaution – on the condition that she didn't give away why they were going. She agreed and I asked her not to tell me anything further for safety sake. I'd told her "It might be nothing – it might be ended before it even begins, but I can't rely on that. If things don't go to plan… I don't want to know that I could have done _something_ and didn't" Pepper had reluctantly begun to make arrangements from the limited knowledge I'd given her. "I don't like it, but I trust you; Tony trusts you" she'd said. The jet would pick me up in a field forty miles from the nearest town and hours away from the base where Fury was recuperating. I'd get a 'disposable' vehicle from the base to take to the field, whether it would be picked up later or not wasn't my concern.

Pepper hung up. I found myself staring at the home screen – I knew he'd answer, I knew he'd help me but I still didn't want to drag him into this. _Just remember I'm always here when you need me_. Damn it.

I tapped in his number; he was the safest place I could go. The phone rang once, twice, three times – he answered.

"Hi Amanda, wasn't expecting you to phone this early."

"Yeah, well…"

"Amanda, are you okay? What's wrong?"

I laughed a little, "You know me too well. I need to ask you a favour"

"Anything, what is it?"

"I need to stay with you for a while."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I got my location and promised him I'd explain everything when I arrived. I gave him my thanks and hung up before finding the others again.

I stood in the door frame for a second, waiting until the three of them had stopped their conversation. Sam looked between me and Tasha and Steve before saying, "I think I'll just let you three have a chat" He walked over to me with a smile, put his hand on my shoulder for a moment and said, "All yours" before leaving the room. His smile was comforting, so reassuring for a man I barely knew.

There was a moment of silence after he left before I said, "That's me sorted."

They smiled and nodded. I could see Steve was still dubious about letting me go to an undisclosed location with an unknown person meeting me, but I knew Tasha trusted my judgement.

"When are you leaving?" asked Nat.

"I just need to ask Fury if I can borrow a car and I'll be off."

She nodded.

"Um, there isn't really an efficient method of contacting you once I get there, there's no secure network."

"It's alright," he said, "Is everything taken care of?"

"Yup – travel, accommodation, food and drink all accounted for." I nodded, more to myself than to my friends, before I gave I sigh, "You know I don't like leaving like this; knowing what's coming"

Steve glanced around, unable to find the words to reassure me, but Tasha did, "Don't worry about it. We've got to keep you safe, who'll avenge us if anything goes wrong?" she joked.

"Yeah, well just make sure it doesn't come to that"

Natasha gave me a nod and Steve managed a smile. I wondered how long it would be until I'd see either of them again – I didn't want to consider the alternative.

Tasha stepped forward and hugged me, whispering 'good luck' to me in Russian. We stepped back from each other and Natasha gave me a smile of encouragement. Steve took a step closer so he was standing next to us. I turned to him and returned the stretched hug on pointed feet as he leant down to me. I laughed quietly and Steve gave me a quick squeeze to reassure me before we parted.

"Well then, I'll see you two later" I said.

"Definitely" Tasha responded.

Steve smiled, "You bet"


	4. Chapter 4

"Well then, I'll see you two later" I said.

"Definitely" Tasha responded.

Steve smiled, "You bet"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The journey went exactly as planned; I even managed to arrive on time. The airfield was small, it only had two hangers. After touch down I'd gotten out of the personal jet and had a worker take it round and put it away. I made it very clear that the jet had to be properly taken care of, any damage would have to be paid for – and that seemed to get the message across quite well. The airfield was privately owned and the owner was asking no questions and giving nothing away, which was ideal. He asked how long I was planning on leaving the plane there but, of course, I didn't know – we made an agreement that I would pay for each day I left the jet there when I picked it up again; it took a little convincing, but I managed it.

The main building of the airfield sat at one end of a long dirt path, at the other end was a cracked, tarmac road, on which sat a rather beaten up, stripped out Jeep. As I walked out to the Jeep, I shoved my hands in my pockets. The closer I got, the better I could see him. He had a strong build, dark hair that was well brushed, wearing dark jeans, a pale t-shirt with a grey suit jacket on top. As I got close enough to see his handsome face he smiled, taking his hands out of his pockets and stepping forward, away from the car.

I smiled, jogging forward the last few steps into a gentle hug. I bowed my head against his chest and he rested his chin down on my shoulder. I breathed him in, and sighed.

"Nice to see you too Amanda"

I chuckled quietly, "It's been a little too long Bruce." I leant back a bit and looked up at Bruce Banner, "You look well"

"So do you, how have you been getting on?"

"Mmm, better – better than before anyway"

"Good" Bruce ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back from my face to place a kiss on my forehead, "let's go – we'll get food on the way"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

We arrived back at Bruce's and carried in the ingredients for our dinner. Bruce's accommodation was small; a single story, boxy little building sitting by itself under a large tree with a wash house out back. Inside was a single room, sparsely furnished with a desk and chair, a low table, an old sofa and a single bed with a few wooden boxes for tools and utensils and clay jars in the corner for excess food, along with piles of assorted clutter everywhere. Bruce generally lived day to day.

We put our purchases down on the low table in the center of the room – rice, some chicken, peppers, onions, tomatoes and a small bag of mixed herbs. Bruce got out a wok and a wooden spoon from one of the boxes. Then he went into a jar and produced a small bottle of oil and what looked like a jam jar of homemade sauce. Putting it all down on the table, he began to prepare our dinner.

I found myself shuffling back and forth with a single square metre of floor, unsure what to do with myself. I couldn't cook very much, very basic things like porridge or soup – but otherwise I was more than hopeless; otherwise if it wasn't microwavable, it wasn't possible.

Bruce looked up at me, "You can sit down you know."

I smiled awkwardly, nodded and took a glance around before deciding to take a seat on the bed at the side of the room. I sat and watched Bruce for a while before kicking off my trainers and curling up with my back against the wall. I was worried about Tasha and Steve. I was worried about Sam being dragged into this whole thing. I was worried about Fury and his condition. I was worried about the Winter Soldier situation. I was worried about the future of S.H.I.E.L.D. and where that would leave all of us.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't realise Bruce had been talking to me until he came over and sat on the bed in front of me. Bruce spoke softly "Amanda? Are you alright?"

I blinked several times, dragging my attention back to the present. "Sorry Bruce, I just… zoned out. Everything's been so… _ugh_ at the moment…"

Bruce shuffled back to sit by my side. "I don't think that was a proper sentence" he smiled. He put an arm around my shoulders and I curled in to his side, leaning my head against his chest. Bruce held my hand, wrapping my small fist in his hand then wriggling his fingers in between mine. "Don't worry, Darling. Everything will be fine; Natasha and Steve can handle this. You just need to relax a bit, if you stay this tense you're going to have another attack." After a quiet moment, Bruce said, "You promised me you were going to explain what's going on when you got here. Do you _want_ to tell me now? Because it's okay if you want to leave it a while"

I nodded numbly, licked my lips and considered my options; tell Bruce now or tell Bruce later – what did it really matter? I sighed, sat back and began to explain everything I could; the Winter Soldier, Fury's death, HYDRA, being attacked, getting our information – I explained that we were on HYDRA's most wanted list. I told him everything I could – I told him that there were other things too, things I could tell him, but Bruce understood, he didn't press me.

Once I was finished we sat in silence for a while before Bruce nodded and quietly said, "And now you're here"

"Yes, Darling, now I'm here."

Bruce pulled me into a hug and pressed a gently kiss to my forehead, "And I still haven't made dinner"

I laughed, unable to stop smiling.

"Come on" Bruce said, sitting forward, "I'm sure you can help at least a little bit." Bruce moved forward to the edge of the bed, taking my hand. Then he hesitated, staring down at my palm, "Amanda?"

I glanced down at my hands. The cuts on my palms stood out bright red against my pale skin and trace amounts of dried blood were still clinging on under my nails. Bruce looked at me, full of concern, "Amanda, what…? Did you do this to yourself?"

"Yes" I whispered. I cleared my throat, "It was an accident – nothing serious, honestly. I got a bit stressed and zoned out, I didn't even realise until after I'd done it. It's fine really." I brushed it off unconvincingly.

"Wait here a second" he stood and went into a first aid box on the other side of the room. Bruce returned with a bottle of water, a cloth, a plaster strip, a small pair of scissors, mic' tape and a tube of antiseptic cream. "Palms up" he said, fully morphed into doctor mode. Bruce cleaned the cuts, then rubbed the cream in before cutting the plaster to size and applying them. Then he wrapped the tape over the plasters' edges and round the back of my hands a few times, making sure that it would stay put.

"A bit excessive don't you think?" I muttered as I watched Bruce patch me up.

"Not when you know about the diseases that are common out here. Besides, typical of you, they're in an awkward place" he flashed me a smile.

I nodded, a grin spread across my face. With his thumb, he put a small amount of pressure down over one of the cuts, "Does that hurt?"

"Not really"

"Good" He stood up and pulled me to my feet. "There's a log pile out side, do you mind setting us up a fire?"

I nodded. "Sure."

Bruce smiled widely and gave me a gentle hug, "I'll be two seconds"


	5. Chapter 5

Bruce smiled widely and gave me a gentle hug, "I'll be two seconds"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Outside I built up a cone of chunks of wood and smaller sticks and lit it with a stone and a piece of flint. Bruce joined me with the wok full of our soon-to-be dinner, a metal tri-pod stand, a wooden spoon and a kind smile I was familiar with. He put the tri-stand over the fire and set the wok on top of it before sitting down next to me.

"I've got no mobile reception" I stated, though I knew Bruce was probably aware of the fact.

"Sorry about that – but it is one of the reasons I'm out here."

I nodded, the set up inside coming into my mind with wires and panelling everywhere. I bowed my head, resting my chin on my knees, and smiled, "Fair enough"

We were silent for a moment. I turned my now useless phone over and over in my hand. Bruce took off his glasses, wiped the lenses on his t-shirt and returned them to his face, "If we can get into the city there should be somewhere you can get in touch with whoever you need to"

"I'll only be useful if I can get a secure line – with HYDRA there's no point in risking our location if something goes wrong"

"Okay, we'll see." Bruce took my hand and gently rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, his fingers lingering on my plaster. I folded my legs round beside me and hesitantly rested my head against Bruce's shoulder. Bruce must have noticed my hesitance because he shuffled over closer to me until there was no gap between us. He shifted, his hand going to my waist while he held my hand in his. I was physically drawn closer to him – and I didn't feel threatened or afraid; in truth I felt slightly vulnerable but, somehow, that was okay.

I closed my eyes. I yawned.

"Are you going to fall asleep before you eat your dinner?"

I grinned, "Is dinner ready?"

Bruce stirred the ingredients in the wok, "Mm, yeah, just about – give it another few minutes"

I looked up at Bruce, "Thanks"

"No problem, it's nice to be able to cook for more than just me – it makes buying the ingredients feel worth it." He smiled, "Wait a second and I'll get us chop sticks" Bruce got up and went inside.

"Wait" I leant back on my fingertips, "did you say chop sticks? _Really_?"

I heard Bruce laughing from inside.

Dinner was delicious. It had taken a lot longer to eat than Bruce had expected on account of the fact that I could _not_ use chop sticks – well, until Bruce kind of taught me how.

I kicked the fire out and helped Bruce tidy up before he suggested getting some sleep – which ensued in an argument over who was going to sleep in the bed; Bruce insisted on taking the chair or the floor while I refused to kick him out of his own bed. Of course, I lost that argument.

I don't know why it took me so long to realise, but it did – "Um, Bruce?"

"Yeah?"

"I literally have nothing with me"

Bruce gave me a look from across the room with eyebrows raised.

"Could I… could I borrow a t-shirt to sleep in, please?"

Bruce laughed, "Yeah sure" he pulled a large suitcase out from under his desk, opened it, and rummaged around until he pulled out a t-shirt and tossed it over to me.

I caught it, "Thanks." I opened out the top; it was white with two words written in large green block letters, '_Free Hugs_'. I laughed, "Nice"

"A present from Tony"

"Ah, of course" I turned away from Bruce, stripped to my pants and pulled the t-shirt on; when I stood up it fell down past my hawk tattoo, almost to my knees, and the sleeves came past my elbows.

Bruce looked me up and down, "It suits you"

"I'd like to think it suits you more"

Bruce grinned and turned back to his desk while I changed. I folded up my clothes and tucked them underneath the bed. Sitting down, I yawned then said, "Good night Bruce, thank you"

"Good night Amanda, you're welcome" he smiled.

I smiled and curled myself up into a tight ball, pulled the light blanket over me and went to sleep under Bruce's watchful eye.


	6. Chapter 6

I smiled and curled myself up into a tight ball, pulled the light blanket over me and went to sleep under Bruce's watchful eye.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Amanda! Amanda!"

I battled to get a breath into my lungs.

"Amanda! Wake up!"

My eyes snapped open. I sat bolt upright, shaking violently, scrambling back towards the wall pushing anything away from me, pushing against a solid form in front of me. I froze as I saw Bruce before me, the look of startled confusion in his eyes; confusion, fear and concern. I gulped harshly, my breath rushed in and out. "Bruce" I breathed, closing my eyes as I tried to take deeper breaths. "Oh God, I'm sorry"

I was shaking worse than I remember having done before. I buried my face in my hands, hiding the tears that had begun to fall down my cheeks. Bruce climbed onto the bed in front of me, "Amanda?" I tried to answer but a small sob was all that came out. Gently, Bruce pulled my hands down from my face, holding my hands in his as my shaking slowly lessened to a tremble.

"Bruce" I whispered.

He nodded, not taking his eyes off me, "I'm here. I'm always going to be here, I promise. Just breath, I'm here." It took some time, but eventually I started to breath normally again, remembering what Steve had said earlier. My lungs and chest ached, and my head and throat were sore from crying. Once Bruce was convinced that I had relaxed enough, he brushed the tears from my face. Carefully, he pulled me forward into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I muttered.

"Don't apologise Amanda, it's alright" I bit my lip and curled myself in against Bruce, pressing my forehead to his shoulder. "You started talking in your sleep" Bruce told me softly, "I couldn't hear what you were saying at first but then you got more upset and you kept saying 'I'm falling' and 'I'm scared' – and you kept saying my name. You had me worried for a while. Why didn't you tell me you were still having panic attacks? Or that the nightmares hadn't stopped?"

"I- I… I didn't… didn't think I… I didn't think it was that… important"

"It's important to me. I want to know if you are okay." He brushed a strand of hair from my face, then cupped my cheek. I felt tears welling in my eyes; I snuggled closer into Bruce, as close I could get. I needed to feel safe – Bruce made me feel safe. He rubbed my back in small circles, rocking me slightly back and forth.

"Thank you Bruce"

"It's okay; as long as you are fine, everything will be okay" I twisted to sit sideway against him, nestling my head in under his chin. We sat for a while until Bruce said, "Come on, you won't be comfortable here for long, we'll get a seat" He scooped me up in his arms and I hugged around his shoulder. Bruce gave the illusion that he wasn't strong outside of the Hulk, but that was only a convenient misconception. He carried me across the room, nudged his desk chair out further then sat down with me on his lap. It was times like these I was grateful for being small.

I slipped my feet down at the side of his leg, my knees pressed together as they rested against his chest. I wrapped my arms loosely around his neck and my head found a place at the base of his neck. Placing a gentle kiss to my forehead, Bruce held me in a light hug, his hands clasped on my waist. Quietly he began to hum, a low tune with a medium tempo, it took me a while to place it but eventually I asked him, "Is that 'I'd Come For You' by Nickelback?"

He laughed a little, "Um, yeah – you don't mind it do you?"

"No, I like that song"

"Oh good, me too." He chuckled "I'll stop so you can sleep"

"No. It's fine – it's nice actually. I'll probably fall asleep quicker."

Bruce smiled happily, "Okay then." He started humming again and within minutes I had drifted off into a long, peaceful sleep.


	7. index

This story is one of a series. In chronological order they are;

\- The Adventures of Young Amanda West

\- A West Wind Comes Blowing

\- Avengers Assemble

\- Even Agents Need Time To Recover

\- Agents have Nightmares Too

\- He's Not Dead (Agents of Shield)

\- Lorelei (Agents of Shield)

\- The Winter Soldier

\- A Tattoo For The Memories (Agents of Shield)

\- Coffee and Questions

\- Happy Birthday

I'll update this as more stories are published :)

Also, there is 'Suffering Through' which is set after Avengers Assemble and varies in time setting, and 'Tales from Avengers Tower' which is set after all of the cuurent films and varies in time setting


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